ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi writes an emotional letter to Rahmat Bhai alias Rahul Gandhi. Baghdadi is very much impressed by Rahul Gandhi. Rahulji has won his heart. In return, he wants to help Rahulji become Prime Minister of India. This ‘letter’ is a proof of that. A political satire by Devendra Narain.
Respected Rahmat Bhai, As-Salaam-Alaikum.
I hope you will not mind my calling you Rahmat Bhai. I have addressed you by this name, instead of your world famous name Rahul Gandhi because you have been special to me. You have been so kind to to me. Your analysis of the reason behind the origin of my movement has touched my heart. When I read it, I became emotional. Outside of my close circle, you are the only one who has understood me and the purpose of my struggle. You are the only intelligent person in India. In fact, there is no intelligent person like you anywhere outside my circle, certainly not in America or Europe. No one knows so much about India and the world as you do.
Rahamat Bhai, there is a lot of similarity between you and me. When the Western imperialists destroyed Iraq, I had to come forward to take up the cause of the unemployed, poor and downtrodden. In your country, when the ‘merchant of death’ – a name very appropriately given by your respected mother to the person you know whom I mean –is destroying India by creating unemployment, harassing and killing the poor and downtrodden, particularly the people of my community, you have taken up the cause of the unemployed, poor and downtrodden.
Your stand on 1984 riots in your country has opened my eyes and given me new courage to face the world. As you have denied the involvement of your party in the 1984 riots, I will also deny my involvement or involvement of my people in sale of women, brutal murder of journalists, massacres, etc. in the areas under my control. Only a man of your courage of conviction can stand by the loyal people. Thank you very much for such a courageous stand and brilliant idea. You have given me new courage of conviction to achieve my mission.
Rahamat Bhai, you are senior to me in age. Even then, please permit me to make a request. Please do not compare the RSS of your country with the Muslim Brotherhood. As you know, the RSS is a terrorist organisation, a Hindu terrorist organisation, whereas the Muslim Brotherhood stands for brotherhood of all the favourites of Allah. My organisation also stands for the brotherhood of all the favourites of Allah.
Rahmat Bhai, perhaps you have forgotten that your loyal Prime Minister Manmohan Singh had invited Mohammed Morsi, a key leader of Muslim Brotherhood, in 2013. At that time Mohammed Morsiwas President of Egypt and your government had signed seven agreements with him. Your comparison of Muslim Brotherhood and RSS has deeply hurt the Brotherhood. Please do not forget such historic meetings your Prime Ministeer Manmohan SIngh had with Mohammed Morsi. You may like to apologise to the Muslim Brotherhood for the sake of mutually beneficial relationship. This is my humble suggestion.
Rahmat Bhai, I am sure, sooner or later you will discover that RSS, BJP, and Modi have been responsible for all the sins such as all the communal riots since pre-partition days, partition of India in 1947, imposition of Emergency in 1975, assassination of your grandmother, 1984 riots, assassination of your father, trouble in Kashmir, corruption, unemployment, recent atrocities on minorities , dalits and women and calamities like floods and droughts.
Rahamat Bhai, like me, you have chosen a difficult path to get rid of anti-poor leaders. I know, you are quite resourceful to carry on your struggle against Modi. However, please permit me to offer my humble and sincere services. It will give me immense pleasure if I can be of any help to you. My loyal person Hafiz will get in touch with you. You can blindly rely on him. He will do anything for you. He has at his command powerful forces like Army and ISI. The ISI is only one letter less than my ISIS.
I wish you could come to my state and enlighten the people here with your ideas on how to fight poverty, injustice, and infidels. Your visit will be a big slap on the face of my enemies.
Rahamat Bhai, Insha Allah, RSS, BJP and Modi will be routed and you will be Prime Minister in 2019. Please do not forget to invite Hafiz and me to witness your historic oath-taking ceremony.
If both of us join hands – you as Prime Minister of India and I as head of the ISIS – we can conquer the world and finish all the enemies of the poor and downtrodden.
Please give my regards to your mother. Now, she is my mother also.
With warm regards
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
August 26, 2018
Rahmat alias Rahul Gandhi
Would-be Prime Minister of India
Presently in London (part of foreign tour to mobilise support)
Rahmat Bhai, if you need any arrangements for your comfortable stay in any country, please do not hesitate. I have resources to make arrangements anywhere in the world.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
Devendra Narain’s comments
It is not known whether Rahmat Bhai alias Rahul Gandhi has replied to thank Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi for his nice words and offer of help. It is also not know whether Hafiz has got in touch with Rahulji. Anyway, the future of Baghdadi, hafiz and Rahul Gandhi seems to be bright.